Metaphors

There are several key metaphors/symbolic phrases in That Which Binds Us that were really fun to play with! In fact, the title of the book is obviously an allusion to the plot. I’ve worked in three fields (and still do) and each of them is represented in some way in one of the phrases. Physical therapy, hypnosis, and writing – check out below how my experience in each of those contributed to the book!

Braiding roses

This is a pretty well known metaphor for how characters in a enemies-to-friends/lovers story come together. Or really any story where characters are initially antagonistic towards each other, but eventually learn to trust each other. The metaphor is that if you put roses together, the thorns will poke into each other. However, if you weave them very carefully, you can braid them so that the thorns avoid each other. Then, the thorns will actually be protecting both of the roses and keep anything that means them harm, out.

I used this a lot in the book! Of course, Mei and Devi braid together as does the entire crew as a group. There are literal references, too, with their tattoos on their arms. It all comes together in the climax of the story. This idea really helped me structure the story as I tried to braid each character into the group – first showing their thorns, then having them come together.

All of this and more

Ok, this one isn’t a metaphor, but it is a cool phrase. I heard of this phrase while studying hypnosis. In any sort of change work (self-improvement), there’s this idea of the positive intention. That is, even with bad traits or habits, there’s still a seed of good in there. If we can tap into that seed and help the person express it in a more positive way, then they’ll be successful.

An example might be smoking. While smoking is obviously unhealthy, for many people it is an outlet for stress relief. Wanting to relieve your stress is a good thing – the positive intention. If you can help the person find another productive form of stress relief instead of smoking, like exercise, then they might be able to stop smoking, but still keep the stress relief.

To that point, there’s a drill you can run with someone. You listen to them tell you something negative about themselves. You then reflect it back, then add a positive intention, then add “you’re all of this and more”. Here’s an example if someone said they’re too hard on themselves.

“I see that you’re too hard on yourself. I see that you are holding yourself to a high standard. I see that you’re all of this and more.”

The idea is to help the person expand beyond a limited mindset. That they are not just that negative trait, but also more than that. The drill isn’t just about validation, either. It’s about helping them see the positive so they can act on it and change their behavior in a way that aligns with the positive intention. Anyway, it’s just such a cool idea – that you can be so many things, even seemingly conflicting things.

Chains

Back to the metaphors! This one is also from hypnosis. As pretty much anyone knows, our own words and expectations can chain us down. That’s where this hypnotic script comes from. Your words form chains that hold you to the ground. Only once you examine the chains, you see that they’re not holding you – you are holding onto them. If you can let go, of those negative words, of those limiting ideas; you could be free.

This is written into Ailani’s story, of course, but I’d like to take a moment to explicitly explain it because it might have confused some people since it was so symbolic. Ailani’s fathers were very, very hard on him. They kept him down with their harsh words and controlling ways. A lifetime of this led a young Ailani to internalize all of this. As a teenager, he became close with Haunani and she helped build his self-esteem up. Just as he got strong enough to leave those words behind, he was given the activating injection. He responded and gained 3 of the keys as well as finally getting validation from his fathers. At this time, Haunani was planning on running away from the compound and selling stolen goods. Ailani (reeled back in by his fathers’ conditional acceptance) betrayed her, stopped her vehicle, and alerted the compound. She’s taken away and never seen again. Ailani wants to lose himself in the ignorance he once had, but he can never go back now. His enhanced strength now only reminds him of the awful choice he once made and he feels he will never be free of it, because it is literally a part of his body (his myofascial sequences).

That which binds us

Aha, and lastly, the title! This, of course, on a superficial level comes from my time in physical therapy school. During anatomy lab, where we dissected a cadaver, we were cutting to get to the muscles. In order to do that, you have to cut through all the fascia. Fascia is often described as packaging for our body – it wraps around all of our muscles and internal organs, binding them. Fascia also acts to connect things together, hence why it’s connective tissue. Since the premise of the book is about these myofascial sequences, it seemed an apt title.

Right? No, of course not! There’s so much more to the book than just the characters being strong. Another interesting thing I learned in anatomy is that, despite fascia wrapping around everything in our body, it is not the most extensive connective tissue. Amazingly, blood is. Blood is actually considered connective tissue, and while I won’t go into all of the details why, if you think about it, it makes sense. There’s no limit to the symbolic meaning of how blood actually binds us together, so that makes it an apt title.

Right? No, don’t be absurd! If you’ve read the book, then you know that the title is actually referring to what binds us (as a society) together. Shared experiences, love, mutual hatred, moral expectations – so many things bind us together.

I love the title of the book because it works on so many levels. What binds us (keeps us together)? Fascia and blood physically bind us together. What binds (restrains) us? Our fears, expectations of ourselves, and past trauma. What binds us (on a multi-person level)? Guilt, fear, friendship, love.

All of this and more…